Any pain is unpleasant; however, the pain of loneliness can be excruciating, piercing to the core of our inner being. Pain, by nature, grabs our attention and invites us to address it. Yet we can choose to ignore, suppress, tolerate, or fight it rather than respond positively to it. We can attempt to drown the pain of loneliness in addiction, to suffocate it with success and material hoardings, or to strangle it with hate and disdain.[1]However, the pain of loneliness does not die and keeps surfacing, particularly when our brain is not distracted by being busy. The pain of loneliness is like a hole in our inner being that no matter what we do to achieve happiness, meaning, and contentment, it all flushes out through this hole. Life can start appearing futile, empty, and meaningless.

The pain of loneliness can be subsided only when we acknowledge it, care for it, and do what is necessary to relieve it.[2] Our culture might have taught us to not acknowledge this pain because it points to the finite nature of our humanness. It tells us that we are vulnerable and dependent, and that we need others to achieve our optimal level of contentment.

We need to acknowledge the pain of loneliness, look at it with compassion, address it as we would physical pain. Honestly acknowledging the pain of loneliness and addressing it by creating and promoting healthy and deep connection with others and with God can lead to meaning, happiness, and contentment.

[1] Brown, Brené (2017). Braving the Wilderness. Random House.

[2] Brown, Brené (2017). Braving the Wilderness. Random House.