Some things hamper human longevity and well-being. Living with air pollution increases our odds of dying early by five percent. Living with obesity, by twenty percent. Excessive drinking, by thirty percent. And living with loneliness? Loneliness increases our odds of dying early by a full forty-five percent! That’s how harmful loneliness can be to our life.[1]The human body is equipped to warn us when we face danger and when our ability to thrive is threatened. John Cacioppo, a researcher on loneliness, says that hunger gives a warning that our blood sugar is low, and we need to eat. Thirst signals that our body is experiencing dehydration, and we need to drink. Pain alerts us to potential tissue damage or some other deterioration in our body, and we need to address it. Similarly, loneliness tells us that we need social connection. For humans, social connection is as important as food and water. Denying we feel lonely makes no more sense than denying we feel hunger.[2] As feeling hunger and thirst is normal and part of human existence so is feeling loneliness. We do not remain hungry but rather grab something to eat. However, in the case of loneliness, we can choose to remain lonely and so invite disconnection and misery into our life.Loneliness is like diabetes. Diabetes, if left untreated, affects internal organs gradually but certainly. Likewise, loneliness reduces our longevity and fruitfulness and destroys our peace and wellbeing. Loneliness can befall us because of our own choices, or others’ abandonment, or even due to circumstances beyond our control. Instead of continuing to isolate ourself and suffer loneliness we can choose to respond positively to this warning signal by connecting to trustworthy others and so invite happiness.

[1] Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and Social Isolation as Risk Factors for Mortality: A Meta-Analytic Review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227-237.

John Baptist, OFM Cap